Before Christmas I had a bump in my car, someone slammed into me from behind and my car was shunted forward. Immediately my body began to shake, at times like that when your body needs an extra boost my body fails, so straight away I took a hydrocortisone, to artificially replicate the response. I felt a pain in my neck as soon as I got back into my car. Ironically I was on my way to a hospital appointment, to test my hands, other parts of my body which aren’t working as they should either.
I’ve accepted now that my body will never be as it was, that I have the body of an OAP and that it needs careful nurturing, in order to get the most out of it and that’s fine because I’m here to fight the fight. However, every now and then I get something new; a different symptom, new ailment, illness or injury which throws the delicate balance off, this was one of those times. I am always in some degree of pain but this added an extra layer on top.
I’ve always taken pride, in rarely canceling outings and trips, I’ve just powered on through but I have lost some of my fight and as a result the pain is getting on top of me. Why is it that sometimes we just can’t give anymore? We just can’t find that extra bit of fight. Over Christmas there was enough going on, to keep my mind occupied and off the pain, for much of the time but since new year I feel like it’s all getting too much. I have barely been out of the door, I don’t want to do anything at home, other than watch TV and eat leftover chocolates.
I will normally have a good routine, to keep me motivated and focussed but this time all of my normal tricks just haven’t worked. I’ve tried all sorts of things to get the pain under control, which is at the root of the problem; I’ve had massages, hot baths, gentle stretching exercises, I constantly have a hot water bottle on my neck and I have been drinking cherry juice which is supposed to help muscle damage but nothing has helped.
Then this morning I went for my first physiotherapy session and the lady explained, that it will likely take at least three months, before my neck is healed, back working and pain free. I’m not sure that I can stand another three months of this pain, but what option do I have? When our bodies let us down there is only so much that we can do to help ourselves physically, the rest is down to our minds and spirit. There is so much evidence that our minds play a huge part in the healing of our bodies, so I must find a way to refocus my mind and distract it from the pain.
So, I have decided that I will allow myself the rest of January to do very little and wallow a little, then in February it needs to change, I need to change. I will need to get myself going again back into a routine and occupied, so that the pains don’t get me down, I know that I can do it, I’ve done it before. Next weekend I am at a spa for a couple of days, so I’m sure that will help and hopefully my next blog will be a bit more positive and upbeat!