Resilience is the word used for how children and adults deal with life’s challenges; if they have it in abundance then they are much better equipped to handle situations, but if they lack enough then they can become damaged and thrown by life. It is therefore important to teach children the skills to cope, the tools to use and the emotions to trust.
Children will normally get their resilience from their home circumstance; when they are upset they are comforted when they have a bad experience they are talked through it. In this way, they learn that they can cope when something goes wrong. They know that they have the tools to deal with any situation, even if they get upset or annoyed they know that they will get through it and learn from the experience. These children grow into confident, capable adults.
Not all children have this level of support in life; some parents themselves struggle and so they are ill-equipped to teach a child about coping with life’s challenges. They can’t explain that things will be ok because they don’t know themselves. They can’t comfort a crying child, they can’t teach them the skills to cope because they don’t have them themselves.
Unfortunately, there are also those children who get the level of support and love but they are somehow predisposed to be sad or anxious. You can raise three children in exactly the same way, with the same love and guidance but one child might struggle whereas the other two children may flourish.
Also when a child lacks the nurturing at home they often seek it outside through a supportive teacher, a scout leader or maybe an aunt or uncle. The positive here is, if they have a support person they can learn the lessons of resilience despite lacking the support at home.
Hopefully, children will receive support and guidance either at home, through another person they trust or through professional agencies. A child needs to be resilient and learn to navigate obstacles themselves to be able to mature and grow into a happy, independent adult.